What to Wear to a Metal Wedding When You’re More Punk Goth Than Leather Loincloth

My husband got the invitation and immediately said, “We’re dressing up.” Not like slacks and a tie dressing up. More like “custom battle jacket and eyeliner” dressing up. Because this isn’t just any wedding. This is a metal wedding.

Cue my internal monologue: I’m curvy. It’s summer. I’m not twenty. And I like my comfort. No corsets. No heels. Definitely no sweating through a PVC catsuit while trying to gracefully sip champagne.

So, we’re figuring it out.

He’s thinking more metal — maybe a black vest, some subtle studs, combat boots with a respectful polish. I’m leaning toward classy punk goth: a black dress with edge, possibly a fishnet sleeve or two, a dramatic shrug (yes, a fluffy one), and boots made for standing, not suffering. Together, we’re aiming for a mash-up of a Bauhaus record and a Pinterest board titled Formal But Make It Screaming Internally.

If you’ve ever tried to match your partner’s heavy metal energy without giving up your goth-punk roots — or your circulation — this one’s for you.

Dressing for the Mosh Pit, Not the Mausoleum

We want to look the part without feeling like we’re in costume. There’s a difference between showing up for a metal wedding and showing up as an extra from Mad Max: Fury Road.

So far, here’s what’s catching our eye:

For him, a black tailored vest over a dark shirt. Maybe mesh, maybe a low-key band tee layered under a jacket. Black jeans or tailored pants, polished combat boots, and accessories with metal attitude but grown-up restraint. Think James Hetfield in a sharp stage outfit or a younger Rob Halford dialed down to wedding-guest level.

For me, a black dress with structure and edge. Mesh, velvet, or lace in the right places. Comfortable boots with a bit of height but zero wobble. A fluffy shrug to fend off the breeze and add drama. Possibly fishnets, if the dress calls for them. Somewhere between Debbie Harry and Siouxsie Sioux, with a splash of grown-up Morticia Addams.

Nothing clingy. Nothing sticky. Nothing that could get us mistaken for a special effect.

Makeup That Rocks, Then Lasts Through the Reception

Metal and makeup go hand in hand, but we’re not going full glam rock unless the mood strikes.

For him: a little eyeliner goes a long way. Smudged kohl, a touch of shadow, and some face powder to combat shine. It’s more Dave Navarro or Ville Valo than full-KISS. If he wants to edge it up, maybe a metallic accent around the eyes or a subtle nail polish in black or gunmetal.

For me: summer-proof makeup is key. Lightweight base (or none), strong brows, and waterproof everything. A smoky eye or a deep lipstick, but not both unless it’s an all-black outfit and I’m feeling bold. I’ll aim for a bit of Pat Benatar, a touch of PJ Harvey, and a lot of setting spray. Maybe a tiny silver star or a graphic eyeliner flick — just enough for someone across the room to think, “Is she in a band?”

Why We’re Doing This (Besides the Free Cake)

Our friend — the one getting married — is the lead singer of a thrash metal band. This wedding is pure him, from the riffs to the guest list.

And let’s be honest: we barely go out. Three kids. A mortgage. Most nights we’re asleep before the credits finish rolling. So when the chance came to dust off the boots and lean into something fun and full-throttle, we said yes. Not just to the RSVP, but to actually showing up. Fully, unapologetically, and with eyeliner on.

This isn’t about dressing young. It’s about dressing like we still know who we are underneath the laundry pile and school lunches.

Still Planning, but Feeling Inspired

We haven’t settled on the final outfits, but the vision is forming. Something that says we respect the moment and the mosh pit. Something that feels like us, even if it’s a little more polished than our usual.

Think grown-up goth meets aging punk meets metalhead parents finally getting a night out. A little bit Ozzy. A little Siouxsie. Maybe even a nod to Grace Jones if the stars align.

We’ll let you know how it all comes together. In the meantime, if you’ve ever wrestled with how to show up for a big event without showing up as someone else, we’re right there with you.

Metal Style Icons Who Get It

If you’re looking for outfit inspiration, here’s where we’ve been lurking:

• Brody Dalle: Messy hair, smudgy liner, attitude for days
• Shirley Manson: That perfect intersection of goth, glam, and grown-up
• Chino Moreno (Deftones): Clean, edgy, and always looks like he has taste
• James Hetfield: When he’s cleaned up, he’s the blueprint for metal semi-formal
• Karen O: Maximalist but somehow still wearable
• PJ Harvey: Artful, dark, and quietly commanding
• Kat Von D: If you want glam goth done with precision
• Trent Reznor: Tailored, tough, and probably already at the wedding venue brooding in a corner

You don’t need to copy any of them, but they’re good reminders that edge and elegance don’t have to cancel each other out.

A Few Makeup Tips (That Won’t Melt Off by Midnight)

For the ghouls:

• Go for long-wear eyeliner or gel pencils for that smoky look that stays
• Black nail polish is always welcome, but a moody burgundy is a classy backup
• Skip heavy foundation—opt for a setting spray and a bold lip or dramatic eye
• Add glitter at your own risk (and your own bathroom-cleaning consequences)

For the dudes:

• A touch of eyeliner can go a long way—tightline with a waterproof pencil for subtle definition
• Beard a bit wild? Smooth it down with balm or oil, unless you’re doing full Viking
• Clean nails, maybe some black polish, and skip the cologne if you’re planning to sweat through a dance circle

Because Dressing for a Metal Wedding Deserves a Soundtrack

If you’ve read this far, you probably get it: this isn’t just fashion. It’s a declaration. Of survival, of style, of still having it (whatever it is), even if you’ve traded late-night gigs for early-morning lunchbox duty.

Whether you’re headed to a metal wedding, throwing one yourself, or just love the idea of dressing like the best version of your loud, weird self, crank the volume and own it. Throw on some Metallica or Ghost or that one power ballad you pretend not to like. Try on the boots. Smudge the liner. You don’t have to go full glam to look like you belong. Just show up as your spikiest, sparkliest, most sincere self.

Because if the band’s playing and there’s a dance floor, you deserve to stomp on it in style.